I have been known to write, but rarely share. My key concern is reading something I wrote and not wanting to own it. This can happen two days later or two years later. Sometimes it’s the fact that today I am not the same person I was yesterday and other times it’s not wanting to own the drama. The former is a positive thing, the latter is just embarrassing.
Sometimes I find it terrifying that I have no memory of writing something I wrote months or years before.
So why am I blogging now? Most years on my birthday I designate it “The Year of…”, and select something I want to change or work on over the coming year. Once it was The Year of Financial Recovery. Another time it was The Year of Defying Age. I’ve not been incredibly successful over the past few years, setting and achieving a goal. I thought I would try something new this year.
So welcome to the Year of Not Being Afraid to Look Dumb. I’m using “dumb” to describe any sort of impression that is one I do not want to own, such as sounding immature, sounding selfish, sounding uncouth…
What will be interesting is if I can develop the ability to not worry about the opinion of others, but to consider the opinion of others and reject or own as I see fit. Or maybe it’s about developing the ability to fully cultivate one’s persona, deciding what others will see and not see. That is an interesting thought, me having a relationship with the various versions of me and sharing the various versions of me with others in a way that is…cultivated.
And now I must publish this. Feels like taking a plunge into ice water.
The TnT House 